BARACK OBAMA'S FIRST HUNDRED DAYS

Day 10 - January 29, 2009

Rumors swept Washington that Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens is retiring.  Hillary Clinton rushed to the White house and nailed her resumé to the Oval Office door.  She later replaced it with a new version after a reporter questioned her claim that she'd gotten Martin Luther King Jr. out of prison in 1961.  She was in junior high at the time.

The Obamas announced that they will join a new church in Washington.  The announcement was made after the church's pastor was interrogated for six days at Guantanamo and was found to be pro-American.

The president responded to a comment by Michelle Obama, picked up by a microphone at a dinner, that "America in 2009 is a jerky, capitalistic, greedy country."  The president said, "That isn't the wife I knew."  But he declined to say whether he'd fire her.

Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel said he's switching his party registration from Republican to the "Anything I Want to Be Today" party, which has just been formed.  He said he could never be a member of the Democratic Party "because they have too many people from New York who talk funny." 

The president said he would like to visit Iraq again, but hopes that this time the soldiers will talk to him.

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"What you see is news.  What you know is background.  What you feel is opinion."
    - Lester Markel,
      late Sunday editor of
      The New York Times

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