BARACK OBAMA'S FIRST HUNDRED DAYS

Day 12 - January 31, 2009

President Obama said it's time for Iraq to take responsibility for corruption-free elections and honest government.  But he said it was still too early to apply the same standard to other combat zones, like Chicago.

The president announced that he was delaying delivery of his first State of the Union speech because conditions have improved so much in the country since he took office 12 days ago.  "What is there to say?" he asked.

Secretary of Melting Al Gore endorsed a bill that would permit global-warming deniers to be tried as heretics.  But he strongly deplored suggestions that they be burned at the stake, saying it sent the wrong message about burning carbons.

Mr. Obama said he didn't think it's an insult to Hillary Clinton that his new White House chief of staff is Monica Lewinsky.

The White House announced, as a gesture of bipartisanship, that the president's new health-care plan would cover Bush Derangement Syndrome. 

The president conceded that he's gone somewhat toward the center since winning his party's nomination, but rejected complaints by left-wing groups that his Confederate-flag lapel pin was taking things too far.

Mr. Obama said he would return to his home state of Illinois on February 12th to celebrate the 200th birthday of Abraham Lincoln.  But he declined an invitation to do a reading of the Gettysburg Address, saying he wanted to read something more polished, something he just wrote.

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"What you see is news.  What you know is background.  What you feel is opinion."
    - Lester Markel,
      late Sunday editor of
      The New York Times

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