BARACK OBAMA'S FIRST HUNDRED DAYS

Day 14 - February 2, 2009

Having moved, on some issues, completely to the center, and beyond, President Obama hotly denied that he has become simply an extension of President Bush.  He described those who make that charge as "an axis of evil."

The president pressured Democrats in Congress to approve funding for putting Ronald Reagan on Mount Rushmore.  "Look," he said, "they're either for us or against us."

The White House announced that Michelle Obama will host the first national conference on "meanness."  The first lady said, "We must confront those who are mean, those who frown, those who don't see things our way.  This conference will develop strategies for dealing with the epidemic of meanness."  Among those invited to present their ideas on fighting meanness, dishonesty, double-dealing and overall sliminess are several Hollywood producers and members of the Chicago City Council.

Secretary of Melting Al Gore was ordered by a Federal court to stop removing light bulbs on his visits to the White House.  The court noted that on one occasion he left the president completely in the dark in the Oval Office.  Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell said he thought that was a good description of what was going in.

The president commemorated Groundhog Day by attempting to find his shadow in the East Room.  By tradition, a president who sees his shadow in the East Room on February 2nd will go six months without having to talk to Hillary Clinton.

The Rev. Jesse Jackson held a news conference to complain "that in the fourteen days this man has been president, I haven't been invited to one state dinner."  He warned Obama to remember where he came from. 

The President announced he will soon take a trip to Kenya, the land of his late father.  But he told the press that his staff would insure that he wore the right flag-lapel-pin during the journey.  Saying he wanted to "reconnect" with his family's culture, Mr. Obama said he would ride through his father's village in his limo before returning to his five-star hotel.

The president endorsed an idea from Exxon-Mobil for Americans to give a tank of gas as a birthday or wedding gift.   But he said he didn't think it was appropriate for those who didn't have driver's licenses. 

After two weeks in office, Mr. Obama said he would start writing the memoirs of his presidential years.  Republicans suggested he call them, "No Hope."

"What you see is news.  What you know is background.  What you feel is opinion."
    - Lester Markel,
      late Sunday editor of
      The New York Times

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