BARACK OBAMA'S FIRST HUNDRED DAYS

Day 18 - February 6, 2009

President Obama said that two home-grown terrorists caught in New Jersey with tons of explosives were no threat to the United States because both had done poorly in the science sections of their College Boards.

The president named Caroline Kennedy to be chair of the Democratic National Committee.  This will be in addition to the two cabinet posts and three ambassadorships she already holds.  The president hotly denied that he's exploiting the Kennedy name.

The president met with the Indonesian prime minister in a photo op with reporters.  When the prime minister mentioned Mr. Obama's upbringing in Indonesia, the president warmly replied, "That was another Obama."

Michelle Obama bemoaned the cut in income her family had taken since moving into the White House.  The $400,00 presidential salary was too small, she said, and she could no longer afford guitar lessons for the kids.  She indicated that lunch would be next to go.

The State Department raised concerns about reports that Al Qaeda was developing nuclear power, but said that, in the spirit of multiculturalism, it accepted bin Laden's explanation that caves were so hard to light and air condition.

Secretary of Melting Al Gore rejected a National Science Foundation paper cautioning that we don't know enough about the future of global warming to make sound decisions.  "Maybe scientists don't," Gore snapped, "but filmmakers do."

"What you see is news.  What you know is background.  What you feel is opinion."
    - Lester Markel,
      late Sunday editor of
      The New York Times

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