BARACK OBAMA'S FIRST HUNDRED DAYS

Day 20 - February 8, 2009

The President continued to deny that he is moving sharply to the right to appease public opinion.  He made the comment just before meeting with National Security Adviser Dick Cheney.

Mr. Obama said he attributed his 20-point drop in approval to fascist elements at The New York Times. 

Assistant Secretary of Education Ward Churchill announced that the national spelling bee would be replaced by the national alternative-word bee.  Students would be judged on the creativeness of their spelling, not its bourgeois middle-class correctness and rigid, family oriented placement of letters.  So far, there's one entrant, but he's doing time for torching cars.

Under pressure from his political advisers, Mr. Obama agreed to Puerto Rican development of its own atomic bomb.  "Look," he said, "if Israel can have it..."

The White House announced it is reviving some of the New Deal's arts programs.  The first grant will be issued to Madonna's Kabbalah workshop, which meets every Sunday in New York.

Following an Australian example, the Center for Disease Control is studying global-warming activists who have nightmares about glaciers melting in their beds.  The center says it has only two reports of drownings.

"What you see is news.  What you know is background.  What you feel is opinion."
    - Lester Markel,
      late Sunday editor of
      The New York Times

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