BARACK OBAMA'S FIRST HUNDRED DAYS

Day 23 - February 11,  2009

As President Obama prepared to celebrate the 200th birthday of Abraham Lincoln tomorrow, controversy broke out over Mr. Obama's plan to deliver an address standing on Lincoln's head at Mount Rushmore.  The president seemed baffled by the uproar.  "I got the idea from 'North by Northwest,' he said. 

Mr. Obama signed the first item on his legislative agenda to be passed by Congress - a law requiring the Campfire Girls to put out their campfires to fight global warming, and requiring that they change their name to the Chilly Girls.  The president said he was proud.

The White House announced that Air Force One was being retired to save money, but that Jimmy Carter would be allowed to live in it, as long as he didn't fool around with the controls and make airplane sounds.

Michelle Obama, still smarting from criticism of her campaign comment about $600 earrings, said she'd wear only one expensive earring from now on, bringing the price down to $300, "more what the average woman would spend," she explained.  A Secret Service man immediately slammed his hand over her mouth.

Jesse Jackson said he'd been treated by a spiritual healer, and no longer had an interest in Barack Obama's body.  Mr. Obama said he accepted Jackson's conversion.

"What you see is news.  What you know is background.  What you feel is opinion."
    - Lester Markel,
      late Sunday editor of
      The New York Times

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