BARACK OBAMA'S FIRST HUNDRED DAYS

Day 38 - February 26,  2009

The president said that he, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid had been scheduled to hold a meeting yesterday morning in the Oval Office on plans to save the planet before we destroy it, but that Reid forgot to come.  "We'll reschedule," he said.

Senator Reid announced announced that saving the planet was probably a good idea, but required further study.

President Obama, chided by a newspaper columnist for never visiting his grandmother in Hawaii, said that he planned a visit next month, and has asked a member of the White House staff to look up the address.

Michelle Obama admitted that her husband has a serious ego problem, but that he's working with his spiritual advisers, Donald Trump, Al Sharpton, and Sean Penn, to learn humility.

The president announced that he had turned water into Gatorade.

The White House said the president will nominate defeated Senate candidate Al Franken to the Federal Communications Commission.  Franken said his first step would be to order Rush Limbaugh to give "how to" instruction to liberal broadcasters. 

The president called for abolition of the CIA because "we're better than that."

He also called for abolition of the FBI because "we're better than that."

Mr. Obama called for a fifty-percent cut in the defense budget because "we're better than that."

The president refused to answer a reporter's question on what we're better than.  "Some of us understand," he said.

For an archive of past days, please go here.

"What you see is news.  What you know is background.  What you feel is opinion."
    - Lester Markel,
      late Sunday editor of
      The New York Times

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