BARACK OBAMA'S FIRST HUNDRED DAYS

Day 42 - March 2,  2009

President Obama will convene a White House conference of clergy to determine once and for all if he is the new messiah.  The president asked the panel to come up with an answer within two weeks.

The president said he isn't disturbed by reports that more people voted in the city of Chicago during the last election than live in the city.  "There are always people hiding from oppression," he said.

The White House announced a mammoth national program to rebuild the nation's crumbling infrastructure.  To keep it green, steel bridges will be replaced by wooden spans paved with leaves.  "It adds to romance," the White House said.

The Justice Department, in a further attempt to humanize law enforcement, revealed that the FBI's Ten Most Wanted List has been eliminated, and will be replaced by a People We'd Love to Invite list.

The president, in returning America to the rule of law, banned certain practices in terrorist interrogations.  Prohibited are such things as loud questions, references to relatives and questions about what the detainee thinks about baseball and Jell-o.  The Jell-o question was considered particularly offensive.

The Obama kids received a second puppy and decided to name it Nixon.  President Obama said he was proud of his kids' knowledge of history.

Hillary Clinton asked Mr. Obama if she could use the Oval Office on a time share.

For an archive of past days, please go here.

"What you see is news.  What you know is background.  What you feel is opinion."
    - Lester Markel,
      late Sunday editor of
      The New York Times

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