BARACK OBAMA'S FIRST HUNDRED DAYS

Day 6 - January 25, 2009

President Obama announced that this year's Presidents Day will include himself, along with Washington and Lincoln.  "It's respect for diversity," he said.  When reminded that both President Washington and President Lincoln are national icons, almost godlike figures, the president responded, "Where's the problem?"

The president signed legislation declaring that the questioning of global warming will now be considered "hate speech."  When asked by reporters who is hated by such talk, the president said, "It's hatred of trees, nice beaches, ice.  You shouldn't hate ice.  That's the way we brought up our kids."

The president announced the dismissal of Secretary of State Jimmy Carter after only five days on the job.  The former president was fired when he locked himself in the Oval Office and refused to come out unless they gave him back his men's room key.

In an address to abortion-rights activists, President Obama said Americans had to give up something to pay for seven-dollar-a-gallon gas.  He suggested limiting Republican families to one child, and Democratic families to six. 

The president expressed frustration that the first three candidates he'd selected for attorney general had to withdraw because they were under indictment.  "Those weren't the men I knew," he said.  He promised to name a new candidate as soon as the person was submitted for clearance to Mayor Daley of Chicago.

The president confirmed that he would meet with high Iranian officials at the White House, and would demand that Iran halt its nuclear program.  Mr. Obama said that if the Iranians turned him down he was prepared to escalate by holding his next meeting with them on uncomfortable chairs.  "I learned to be tough in the streets," he said. 

"What you see is news.  What you know is background.  What you feel is opinion."
    - Lester Markel,
      late Sunday editor of
      The New York Times

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