The Bush days dwindle down to a precious few. Purity is coming on Tuesday. School children are being taught to prepare for the new age. Everywhere on Earth there is the feeling that, come Tuesday night, all problems will be on their way to solution. There are rumors that Obama carols are being written. Wise men are heading for Washington. True, they're generally called lobbyists, but they're now wise men.
- CIA Director-designate Leon Panetta, who reported yesterday that he'd successfully penetrated Fox News, now claims that Bill O'Reilly is trying to develop a nuclear weapon. The president-elect is said to be concerned.
- A team of Berkeley scientists reports that every time Obama speaks, the Earth cools a bit. This same team reported last year that Che Guevara is alive and is living with Elvis in Monterey.
- New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, who had to withdraw his nomination for commerce secretary because he's under investigation, has asked for political asylum in Illinois.
- Obama still has no replacement for Richardson. He says he wants someone who built a business based on creativity and trust - but the producer of the "Girls Gone Wild" videos turned him down.
- Mr. Obama apologized after an aide referred to Cabinet members as "the disciples." Obama said it was premature, and that the exact relationship is still to be worked out.
- An informed source reports that Hillary Clinton will attend the inaugural ball with a blind date.
January 17, 2009.