SNIPPETS

NOVEMBER 4,  2009

RICHMOND, Mich., Nov. 3 (UPI) -- Michigan State Police said a man denied a ride from people at a hospital stole an ambulance.  Sgt. Craig Nyeholt with the Michigan State Police Richmond Post said Marcus Belgrave Jr., 31, of Detroit, stole a Richmond Lenox EMS ambulance idling outside the emergency room entrance of St. John River District Hospital in East China Township, the Port Huron (Mich.) Times Herald reported Tuesday.

Under Obamacare, stolen ambulance rides will be covered, but only for those below a certain weight and who eat celery.

NOVEMBER 3,  2009

TOKYO (AP) -- Former President George W. Bush threw out the ceremonial first pitch before Game 3 of the Japan Series between the Yomiuri Giants and Nippon Ham Fighters. Bush, wearing a Yomiuri warmup jacket, took the mound Tuesday at Tokyo Dome and threw a pitch to Giants catcher Shinnosuke Abe that bounced once in the dirt before being caught.

Of course, whichever team loses can now blame it on BUSH (!!).  Everyone knows it's his fault, because he didn't change the climate, which affected the pitcher, which...  We all know that, with Obama, every team wins.