SNIPPETS

MARCH 16,  2010

GLASGOW, Scotland, March 15 (UPI) -- A Scottish charity says it is holding classes on proper sleep habits for teenagers in a bid to boost the students' energy during the school day.

The kids could just listen to a Barack Obama speech.  That would do the trick.

MARCH 15,  2010

From the New York Post:  WASHINGTON --- Hillary Rodham Clinton's State Department is spending $5.4 million to buy fine crystal stemware for American embassies -- but it won't give the US economy much of a boost.  The contract was given to a tiny Washington, DC, interior designer, which in turn subcontracted the crystal work to a Swedish firm -- snubbing such US companies as the famous manufacturer in Clinton's own back yard, Steuben Crystal of upstate Corning.  The firm didn't even get a chance to bid on the contract, which will outfit embassies and ambassadors' residences with fancy crystal for ritzy functions.

Hillary doesn't give a damn about New York.  She only used this state when she needed it to become a senator.  We had some hopes that, despite her seedy past, she would grow as secretary of state.  Instead, she's become Obama's poodle.

MARCH 14,  2010

PAPILLION, Neb. (AP) - Authorities said a 30-year-old-man showed up so drunk for his sentencing for drunken driving that he missed his hearing and now faces even more time behind bars. Authorities said Jason Botos was driven to the Papillion courthouse on Thursday by his father, who needed help from deputies to get his son out of the vehicle.

I wonder if daddy noticed that sonny was drinking.

MARCH 13,  2010

LONDON, March 12 (UPI) -- An in-house critic says that if near-illiterate teenagers can use Facebook and Twitter, staffers for the British broadcaster BBC do not need a course.  The BBC, funded by license fees paid by TV owners, has been offering a one-day class, "Making the Web Work for You," to its employees, the Daily Mail reported. At least 476 people are reported to have attended the course since November.  "We're meant to be belt-tightening. It is an astonishing waste of money," a staffer told the newspaper. "Teenagers who can barely read or write have managed to teach themselves."

Yeah, and maybe the Beeb should start worrying about all those teenagers who can barely read and write...and why they're in that condition.

MARCH 12,  2010

LONDON, March 11 (UPI) -- A British TV host is driving 210 miles from London to Manchester, England, in a coffee-powered car as part of a major science fair.  Jem Stansfield, one of the hosts of science-themed TV show "Bang Goes the Theory," is due Thursday in Manchester for the March 11-13 Big Bang Science Fair at Manchester Central, the BBC reported Thursday.

I wonder if the caffeine model gets more zip than the decaffeinated sedan.

MARCH 11,  2010

From USA Today:  A Korean nerd has married his favorite pillow.  Known as a dakimakura, the life-size pillow bears the image of a popular Japanese anime character.  A South Korean TV station captured the courtship and nuptials of 28-year-old Lee Jin Gyu and his huggable, wide-eyed "magical girl" Fate Testarossa, age unclear...A priest pronounced them man and pillow.

I would love to read the pre-nup.

MARCH 10, 2010

WICHITA, Kan., March 9 (UPI) -- Kansas authorities said an injured man pulled over during a traffic stop told officers he was beaten for using Monopoly money to purchase drugs.

Stupid guy.  Everyone knows that you have to use your "get out of jail free" card, which is accepted by all drug dealers.