WORLD ENDS TODAY – AT 8:28 A.M. ET: According to the Mayan calendar, the world will end today. I've looked out the window, and it hasn't ended here...yet. I can still see the SEARS sign in the distance, and we all know that where there's SEARS, there's civilization, and some good tools.
President Obama has reportedly assured environmentalists that, if the world ends, he'll appoint a commission led by Al Gore to determine the extent to which global warming was involved.
Leading Republicans are hailing the end of the world as a unique opportunity to cut the federal budget. But the Air Force will not be touched.
Some are taking a positive view:
CHICHEN ITZA, Mexico (Reuters) - Thousands of mystics, hippies and spiritual wanderers will descend on the ruins of Maya cities on Friday to celebrate a new cycle in the Maya calendar, ignoring fears in some quarters that it might instead herald the end of the world.
Brightly dressed indigenous Mexican dancers whooped and invoked a serpent god near the ruins of Chichen Itza late on Thursday, while meditating westerners hoped for the start of a "golden age" of humanity.
"I see it as a changing of an energy, the changing of a guard, the changing of universal consciousness," said Serg Miejylo, a 29-year-old gardener originally from Connecticut.
Wearing sandals, smoking a rolled-up cigarette and sporting blonde dreadlocks, Miejylo is among those joining the festivities at Maya sites in southern Mexico and parts of Central America.
But while people here were celebrating, the close of the 13th bak'tun - a period of some 400 years - in the 5,125-year-old Long Calendar of the Maya has raised fears among groups around the world that the end is nigh.
A U.S. scholar once said it could be seen as a kind of "Armageddon" by the illustrious Mesoamerican culture, and over time the idea snowballed into a belief that the Maya calendar had predicted the earth's destruction.
COMMENT: The major question of the day: If the world ends, will State Farm pay claims? If it does end, please send us e-mails on your thoughts, reactions, and who you feel is responsible.
Hillary Clinton says she won't discuss the subject until she's over her headache. We men have heard that one before.
December 21, 2012