WORSE THAN GLOBAL WARMING

There is a growing crisis.  You might as well be told now so you can make plans.  We're talking emergency supplies, and possibly trips.  You might wish to shield the children from the truth.

You probably guessed it already.  With the writers' strike now in its 11th week, and no sign of an industry-wide agreement, there's a chance the Oscar ceremony, scheduled for February 24th, will have to be, as the Hollywood PR guys might put it, re-imagined.  Variety reports the impending tragedy.  And, think of it, while this is happening, the president of these United States is in the Middle East.  It's true what they say.  The man has no set of priorities.  If only he would expand his horizons and read the entertainment page.

So, the industry is planning two Oscar ceremonies.  One, if the strike ends in time, would be the usual, where all the jewels are borrowed.  The second would be an intimate, scaled-down affair, where you wear your own.  The worst part, and the shock for me, was this line from the Variety story:

But it's likely that the alternative show would rely on industry heavyweights penning their own speeches and presenting the awards.

It is critically important that those of you with children take special precautions should this come to pass.  Be sure the kids are kept far away from television sets and even radios.  The idea that young Americans would be subjected to Hollywood stars speaking their own words fills me with dread.  American grammar is bad enough.  The word "me" is overused enough.  Clean words are underused enough.  Are they actually going to allow these people to speak what they write?  Will this go out live?  To the whole world?  I can just imagine Osama, in his cave, watching his 45-inch Samsung. "The infidels can't even speak their own language. They're doomed." The man might have something.

Pray for a settlement.  Our country has suffered enough.

Posted on January 16, 2008.